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Funny Adult SMS and Messages |
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| MARY and the police are having words because they are accusing her of indecency because she is sitting in a short little skirt, legs open on the street curb and she is not wearing a panty…MARY: ”me indecent, never!, I have just paid my rent and is only waiting for the receipt to get dry.“
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| What gets longer when you pull it, fits snuggly between a woman’s breasts, operates best when inserted in a hole and works best when jerked?
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| Spinster’s will was read after her funeral and she wanted the following on her tombstone: ”Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin.“ The monumental mason thought the wording was too long and he shortened to: ”Returned unopened“
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| The little Japanese girl has not had sex for some time. One night she is lucky and met up with SAM who agreed to have sex with her. Whilst having raw sex she farted and said: ” Solly solly but front hole so happy, back hole is laughing loud!“
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| I was told that your sex life has improved drastically this year…
everybody is fucking you around.
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| Husband comes home and tells his wife he had a very stressful day at work….to distress he is going the ride his horse. Wife replied: ”You will have to hurry, because your horse has already phoned twice.“
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| What do you get when you cross a female deer with a pickle?
A dildoe.
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| Why does the dog licks his ass?.....because he knows he will be licking his owner’s face shortly |
| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| Woman buys 2 drinks at bar and pours them both down her panty. Barman asks her why is she doing that when she replied: ”I have just won the lottery and this is the only cunt I am sharing it with!“ |
| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| What do you get when you cross a Rooster with peanut butter?
A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth!
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| ---------------------End
of SMS-------------------- |
| I have just now seen two deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands in each others knickers… do you think they are lip reading?
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| What is a burning desire?
It is when in the dark you are reaching for the Petroleum jelly but instead takes the Vaporub!
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| What is a SUGGARDADDY?
An old fossil, with a small tossil, who thinks it is colossal
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| What is the resemblance between men and clouds?
Eventually they fuck-off and then it is a lovely day….!“
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| How do you know when a man has diabetes in the worst degree?
When he masturbates, he shoots candyfloss!
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning?
She wants to be the first lady.
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| How does Michael Jackson know its time for bed?
When the big hand is on the little hand
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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of SMS-------------------- |
| Why did the bald head man’s trouser pockets have holes in it?
So that he every now and then can pull his fingers thru his hair
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| Wife gets naked into bed with husband and says: ”tonight I am going to make you the happiest man in town!“ Husband: ”Wow, who is helping you to move?“
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| ---------------------End
of SMS-------------------- |
| Why do blondes always drink with straws?
Practice sucking!!
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| Posted on : [25/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| ---------------------End
of SMS-------------------- |
| His nose is hairier than the gorilla I saw at the zoo.
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| Posted on : [22/05/2007] |
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Posted by : Niaz ur Rahman
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Mobile # :03013013280
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| ---------------------End
of SMS-------------------- |
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